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We have a collected a huge list of “funny fathers day messages, Poems, And wishes” to personalize a happy father’s day card and help to make Father’s Day extra memorable day.
You can also read Best Dad Jokes for fathers Day: Make the Whole Family Laugh.
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Table of Contents
- Funny Fathers Day Quotes
- Short funny dad quotes
- Funny Father’s Day quotes to my husband
- Funny fathers day quotes from daughter
- Funny fathers day quotes for cards
- Funny Father’s Day Quotes from Movies and TV
- Funny Father’s Day Quotes from Famous Personalities
Funny Fathers Day Quotes
Editor’s note: You are welcome to share and use these original funny Fathers Day quotes and images contained below. Please give credit back to our page. Non-commercial use only.
“Dad taught me everything I know. Unfortunately, he didn’t teach me everything he knows.” — Al Unser
We wondered why when a child laughed, he belonged to Daddy, and when he had a sagging diaper that smelled like a landfill, ‘He wants his mother.’
“You can tell what was the best year of your father’s life, because they seem to freeze that clothing style and ride it out.”~ Jerry Seinfeld
I’ve been to war. I’ve raised twins. If I had a choice, I’d rather go to war.
“A good father is one whose only reason for putting down a laughing baby is to pick up a crying one.” —Linda Poindexter
Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.
The best fathers have the softest, sweetest hearts. In other words, great dads are real marshmallows.” Richelle E. Goodrich, “Slaying Dragons”
“A man knows when he is growing old because he begins to look like his father.” —Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Short funny dad quotes
These short hilarious quotes are perfect for Father’s Day cards and Father’s Day gifts, but they will also get a smile any time of the year:”Being a dad at bedtime is like being a designated driver trying to get your friends to leave the bar.”
“Dad: Spider-killing superhero.”
“Nothing you can do can scare me. I raised three daughters.”
“My daughter doesn’t have any daddy issues, but I can guarantee her boyfriend will.”
“The key to being an awesome dad is aging without maturing.”
“I’m a typical overachiever. That’s why I’m the dad of twins.”
“My boss calls me dad.”
“Dad, I wish I’d inherited your ability to fall asleep anywhere anytime.”
“I’m smiling because I have you as a dad. I’m laughing because you can’t do anything about.”
“Dad, I have a secret. You’re the best parent. Please don’t tell Mom.”
“I wouldn’t trade my dad for anything. Then again, no one has offered me anything yet.”
“Life doesn’t come with instructions, but it does come with a dad who always answers my calls.”
Funny Father’s Day quotes to my husband
Father’s Day is a day when not only children send wishes to their fathers, but also mothers send wishes to their husbands in the form of beautiful and funny Happy Father’s Day messages. Bring a smile to their faces with the Funny fathers day wishes for husband and quotes for the spouse.
“Happy Father’s Day to my dearest husband whom I love as a husband but hate as a dad as he spoils our babies beyond imagination.”
“To my dearest husband, I wish a very Happy Father’s Day. There is one thing that I want and that is that our children don’t grow up like you in terms of being lazy.”
“You have been an amazing husband and a wonderful dad but both put together is a deadly combination. Happy Father’s Day.
“I love it when our kids and you team up but I hate it when I you all team up against me. Happy Father’s Day to you.”
“Being a father is not even looking at your kid for the first two months and then becoming their hero for life. Warm wishes on Father’s Day to you my love.”
Funny fathers day quotes from daughter
Father’s Day is a day when you can think on your father’s jokes and wonder, “How can I make him laugh?”
If you include one of these funny Father’s Day quotes from a daughter in your Instagram post, you’ll give him a reason to laugh right now and for the rest of his life.
To say the least, it’s a no-brainer to include a hilarious Father’s Day remark in your Instagram or other social media post. Your father will undoubtedly laugh and appreciate this special holiday, especially if you include one of the quotes given below.
“You are the luckiest dad in the world. I’d love to have me as a daughter.”
“Dad, I can never repay you. Literally.”
“Ask him about the day he taught me how to drive.”
“Without me, this day wouldn’t mean much. You’re welcome.”
“One day, you’re going to put the ‘grand’ in grandpa!”
“Nothing says ‘I love you’ like an Instagram post.”
“I wouldn’t want to roll my eyes at anyone else’s jokes.”
“I’ll always be your little girl, even though I’m taller than you now.”
“He’s awesome. But you know what they say, ‘Like father, like daughter.'”
“Please accept this Instagram post as a symbol of my love for you.”
Funny fathers day quotes for cards
Can’t find the right words for Dad this Father’s Day? These funny Father’s Day quotes are sure to get him laughing.
“You can tell what was the best year of your father’s life because they seem to freeze that clothing style and ride it out.” —Jerry Seinfeld.
“I gave my father $100 and said, ‘Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.’ So he went out and bought a present for my mother.” —Rita Rudner.
“My daughter got me a ‘World’s Best Dad’ mug. So we know she’s sarcastic.” —Bob Odenkirk.
“Father’s Day is important because, besides being the day on which we honor Dad, it’s the one day of the year that Brookstone does any business.” —Jimmy Fallon.
“The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, the second half by our children.” —Clarence Darrow.
“Four-year-old: Tell me a scary story! Me: One time little people popped out of your mom, and they never stopped asking questions. Four-year-old: Why?” —James Breakwell.
“Sometimes I am amazed that my wife and I created two human beings from scratch yet struggle to assemble the most basic of Ikea cabinets.” —John Kinnear
“Fatherhood is great because you can ruin someone from scratch.” —Jon Stewart
Funny Father’s Day Quotes from Movies and TV
- “Dad, you’ve done a lot of great things, but you’re a very old man, and old people are useless.” HOMER SIMPSON (THE SIMPSONS)
- “I’m not loving anybody that I’m not legally required to.” RED FORMAN (THAT 70’S SHOW)
- “You’re my children and I love you, but you’re all terrible at what you do here, and I feel like I should tell you. I’d fire all of you if I could.”BOB BELCHER (BOB’S BURGERS)
- “If my son thinks of me as one of his idiot friends, I’ve succeeded as a dad.”PHIL DUNPHY (MODERN FAMILY)
Funny Father’s Day Quotes from Famous Personalities
Here are 10+ best Funny Father’s Day Quotes from Famous Dads.
- “Having children is like living in a frat house. Nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.” – RAY ROMANO
- “By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he’s wrong.”- CHARLES WADSWORTH
- “I’ve been to war. I’ve raised twins. If I had a choice, I’d rather go to war.”-GEORGE W. BUSH
- “There should be a children’s song: ‘If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself, and let your dad sleep.’”-JIM GAFFIGAN
- “I was born cesarean. You can’t really tell, although whenever I leave a house, I go out through a window.”-STEVEN WRIGHT
- “My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!”-BILL COSBY
- “I hate this occasion because I can never find the right card because they’re all too nice. So, I usually end up getting the blank card with the tree on it; draw a little picture of myself hanging there.”-MARGARET SMITH
- “I’m so ugly, my father carries around a picture of the kid who came with his wallet.”-RODNEY DANGERFIELD
- “Fatherhood is great because you can ruin someone from scratch.”-JON STEWART
- “Never raise your hand to your kids… it leaves your groin unprotected.”-RED BUTTON
- “As each day passes, you grow older, weaker. I’ve been working out. Revenge is near. Happy Father’s Day.”-DAN CUMMINS
- “Children are a great comfort in your old age, and they help you reach it faster, too.”-LIONEL KAUFFMAN
- “People ask what it’s like to have four kids, and I just tell them, ‘Picture that you’re drowning, then someone hands you a baby.’”-JIM GAFFIGAN
- “My daughter got me a ‘World’s Best Dad’ mug. So we know she’s sarcastic.”-BOB ODENKIRK
A sincere Father’s Day message from his son, daughter, or wife may truly honor him. Our collection of funny and Inspirational Fathers Day Quotes is just what you need to bring a smile on his face on this special day. Because sometimes our words are more powerful than our actions.
Surprise your Dad with a special gift and a special wish. If you can’t find the right words to wish him, keep on reading and you will find many Father’s day wishes and pick the right one for him.
This celebration is about fatherhood, so don’t forget your grandfathers…they are fathers too!