These funny Father’s Day quotes and sayings capture the father-child relationship with lightheartedness and humor.
Father’s day is a wonderful opportunity to laugh and remember your dad. Don’t forget about the important person who gave you life! If you genuinely appreciate him for all he did for you on a day of the year, make it a day of father’s memory.
They’re perfect for writing inside Father’s Day cards or as Instagram captions for Father’s Day!
Related Reading: Best Father’s Day Captions For Instagram, Facebook [WITH IMAGES]
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List Of Funny Fathers Day Quotes
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Related Reading: Short And Sweet Fathers Day Quotes: [WITH IMAGES]
“Dad taught me everything I know. Unfortunately, he didn’t teach me everything he knows.” — Al Unser
We wondered why when a child laughed, he belonged to Daddy, and when he had a sagging diaper that smelled like a landfill, ‘He wants his mother.’
“You can tell what was the best year of your father’s life, because they seem to freeze that clothing style and ride it out.”
~ Jerry Seinfeld
I’ve been to war. I’ve raised twins. If I had a choice, I’d rather go to war.
“A good father is one whose only reason for putting down a laughing baby is to pick up a crying one.” —Linda Poindexter
Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.
Related Reading: Best Inspirational Fathers Day Quotes: [WITH IMAGES]
The best fathers have the softest, sweetest hearts. In other words, great dads are real marshmallows.”
Richelle E. Goodrich, “Slaying Dragons”
“A man knows when he is growing old because he begins to look like his father.” —Gabriel Garcia Marquez
“You can tell what was the best year of your father’s life, because they seem to freeze that clothing style and ride it out.” —Jerry Seinfeld
“There are three stages of a man’s life: he believes in Santa Claus, he doesn’t believe in Santa Claus, he is Santa Claus.”~ Unknown
“A father is a banker provided by nature.” —French proverb
Related Reading: Best Dad Jokes for fathers Day
“Dad taught me everything I know. Unfortunately, he didn’t teach me everything he knows.”- Al Unser
“A father is a man who expects his son to be as good a man as he meant to be.” —Frank A. Clark
“A man knows when he is growing old because he begins to look like his father.”~ Gabriel Garcia Marquez
“You don’t have to deserve your mother’s love. You have to deserve your father’s. He’s more particular.” —Robert Frost
“Dad, you’re someone to look up to no matter how tall I’ve grown.”~ Unknown
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“By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he’s wrong.” —Charles Wadworth
“Dads are like chocolate chip cookies; they may have chips or be totally nutty, but they are sweet and make the world a better place.”~ Hillary Lytle
“Being a great father is like shaving. No matter how good you shaved today, you have to do it again tomorrow.” —Reed Markham
“If at first you don’t succeed, call Dad.”~ Unknown
“I talk and talk and talk, and I haven’t taught people in 50 years what my father taught by example in one week.” —Mario Cuomo
ReRelated Reading: Best Father’s Day Activities 2021: 50 Unique, Creative, Fun ideas
“Who needs a superhero when I have you as my Dad?”~ Unknown
“When you’re young, you think your dad is Superman. Then you grow up, and you realize he’s just a regular guy who wears a cape.” —Dave Attell
“Just taught my kids about taxes by eating 38% of their ice cream.”~ Conan O’Brien
“Dads are like chocolate chip cookies; they may have chips or be totally nutty, but they are sweet and make the world a better place, especially for their children.” —Hillary Lytle
“A father’s words are like a thermostat that sets the temperature in the house.” —Paul Lewis
I’m so lucky to have you as my father… I’m sure no one else would have put up with me this long. Happy Father’s Day!
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“[Fatherhood is] the greatest thing that could ever happen. You can’t explain it until it happens; it’s like telling somebody what water feels like before they’ve ever swam in it.” —Michael Bublé
“My father didn’t tell me how to live. He lived and let me watch him do it.” —Clarence Budington Kelland
“My father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic.” —Spike Milligan
“You gotta love dads. At my wedding, when I tripped on my wedding dress and fell flat on my face, Dad said, “Don’t worry, you’ll do better next time.”” —Melanie White
Related Reading: Best Father’s Day Quotes From Son (WITH IMAGES)
Funny Father’s Day Quotes from Movies and TV
“Dad, you’ve done a lot of great things, but you’re a very old man, and old people are useless.” HOMER SIMPSON (THE SIMPSONS)
“I’m not loving anybody that I’m not legally required to.” RED FORMAN (THAT 70’S SHOW)
“You’re my children and I love you, but you’re all terrible at what you do here, and I feel like I should tell you. I’d fire all of you if I could.”BOB BELCHER (BOB’S BURGERS)
Related Reading: Father’s Day Quotes From Daughter Ideas [WITH IMAGES]
“If my son thinks of me as one of his idiot friends, I’ve succeeded as a dad.”PHIL DUNPHY (MODERN FAMILY)
Funny Father’s Day Quotes from Famous Personalities
“Having children is like living in a frat house. Nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.” – RAY ROMANO
“By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he’s wrong.”- CHARLES WADSWORTH
“I’ve been to war. I’ve raised twins. If I had a choice, I’d rather go to war.”-GEORGE W. BUSH
Related Reading : Happy Fathers’ Day Quotes [WITH IMAGES]
“There should be a children’s song: ‘If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself, and let your dad sleep.’”-JIM GAFFIGAN
“I was born cesarean. You can’t really tell, although whenever I leave a house, I go out through a window.”-STEVEN WRIGHT
“My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!”-BILL COSBY
“I hate this occasion because I can never find the right card because they’re all too nice. So, I usually end up getting the blank card with the tree on it; draw a little picture of myself hanging there.”-MARGARET SMITH
“I’m so ugly, my father carries around a picture of the kid who came with his wallet.”-RODNEY DANGERFIELD
“Fatherhood is great because you can ruin someone from scratch.”-JON STEWART
“Never raise your hand to your kids… it leaves your groin unprotected.”-RED BUTTON
“As each day passes, you grow older, weaker. I’ve been working out. Revenge is near. Happy Father’s Day.”-DAN CUMMINS
“Children are a great comfort in your old age, and they help you reach it faster, too.”-LIONEL KAUFFMAN
“People ask what it’s like to have four kids, and I just tell them, ‘Picture that you’re drowning, then someone hands you a baby.’”-JIM GAFFIGAN
“My daughter got me a ‘World’s Best Dad’ mug. So we know she’s sarcastic.”-BOB ODENKIRK
A sincere Father’s Day message from his son, daughter, or wife may truly honor him. Our collection of funny and Inspirational Fathers Day Quotes is just what you need to bring a smile on his face on this special day. Because sometimes our words are more powerful than our actions.
Surprise your Dad with a special gift and a special wish. If you can’t find the right words to wish him, keep on reading and you will find many Father’s day wishes and pick the right one for him.
This celebration is about fatherhood, so don’t forget your grandfathers…they are fathers too!