100 Best Halloween Jokes and Riddles for Kids and Adults That Will Leave Everyone Howling with Laughter!”

---

TL;DR: Looking for the perfect Halloween jokes? I’ve gathered a collection of Halloween dad jokes, Halloween ghost jokes, and even Halloween zombie jokes that are sure to entertain kids, teens, and adults alike.

Halloween is meant to be spooky, but finding the right balance between fun and fright can be tricky.

Whether you’re trying to keep the kids entertained or liven up an adult party, a good joke can be just the thing to lift the mood.

But, not every Halloween joke works for all ages. You don’t want to be that person who tells a joke that flies over the kids’ heads or one that’s too mild for adults.

You might be searching for something perfect for everyone—whether it’s funny Halloween jokes for teens, Halloween knock-knock jokes for the little ones, or something more playful like Halloween witch jokes or Halloween skeleton jokes.

Good news! I’ve got you covered with a mix of Halloween jokes for kids, adults, and everyone in between. With these jokes, you’ll have your audience laughing all night long—without the awkward silence.

🎃 Laugh Out Loud: The Best Halloween Jokes to Tickle Your Funny Bone!

• How did the zombie become great a trick or treating? Dead-ication.
• What is a vampire’s favorite halloween candy? A sucker.
• What do demons eat for breakfast? Deviled eggs.
• What did the girl horse dress up as for Halloween? A night mare.
• What has hundreds of ears but can’t hear a thing? A cornfield!
• Why didn’t the skeleton go to prom? He had no body to go with.
• How do vampires get around on Halloween? On blood vessels.
• How did the skeleton know it was going to rain on Halloween? He felt it in his bones.
• How do zombies serve the country? In the Marine Corpse.
• Who gives Dracula the most candy on Halloween? His fang-club.
• What do skeleton dogs eat? Milk bones.
• What do zombies order at the deli? Knuckle sandwich.
• What’s a vampire’s favorite kind of dog? A bloodhound.
• What kind of medicine do witches use on their warts? I don’t know, but it’s not working.
• What did the witch do when her car broke down? She witch-hiked!
• What do you call a movie about zombies finding true love? A zom-com.
• Did you hear about the coffin sale? That’s the last thing I need.
• What did one zombie surfer say to the other? “Creepin’ it real.”
• Why don’t they play music in skeleton church? They don’t have organs!
• Where do mummies like to swim? The Dead Sea.
• Why are there fences around cemeteries? Because people are dying to get in.
• How do you get a werewolf to stop chasing you? Throw a stick and say, “fetch!”
• What do you do with a green monster? Wait until it’s ripe.
• Albert Einstein was a genius… but his brother Frank was a monster!
• What’s a skeleton’s favorite song? “Bad to the Bone.”
• Why don’t werewolves ever know the time? Because they’re not when-wolves.
• What do dentists hand out at Halloween? Candy. It’s good for business.
• I would make a skeleton joke, but you wouldn’t find it very humerus.
• What types of TVs are in haunted houses? Wide scream TVs.
• Why are mummies good employees? They get wrapped up in their work.
• Why do skeletons hate parties? They have no-body to dance with.
• How does a scarecrow drink his juice? With a straw!
• What does a skeleton say before eating? Bone appetit!
• Where does the witch usually take her vacation? Anywhere that has a broom with a view.
• How did Dracula learn to be a vampire? He took a crash corpse.
• When’s the best time to cast a spell? The witching hour.
• What do you call a cow on Halloween? A boo-vine.
• How do you get rid of demons? Exorcise a lot.
• Why does a witch ride a broomstick? So she can make a clean getaway.
• What’s the best thing to put into a pumpkin pie? Your teeth.
• What kind of bread do zombies like? Whole brain.
• What’s a monster’s favorite cheese? Muenster.
• Why was the cemetery chosen to be the perfect location to write a movie? Because it had great plots.
• What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween? Candy corneas.
• What do you call Ryan Gosling in a mummy costume? Ryan Gauzeling.
• Have you heard about the poor witch who became a millionaire? It was a rags to witches story.
• What do witches’ cats eat for breakfast? Mice crispies.
• Did you hear about the crazy vampire? He was totally batty.
• Who’s in charge of the candy corn? The kernel.
• What is a monster’s favorite pet? Creepy crawlies.
• When do cows turn into werewolves? During the full mooooooooon.
• Why don’t mummies take time off? They’re afraid to unwind.
• How do witches play loud music? On their broom boxes.
• What’s a werewolf’s go-to pickup line? Howl you doin’, good lookin’?
• Do zombies eat burgers with their fingers? No, they eat the fingers separately.
• What do you call a hip jack-o’-lantern? Waaay ahead of the carve.
• Why did the headless horseman decide to get a job? He wanted to get ahead in life.
• Why can’t a vampire go to a barbecue? They’re afraid of stakes.
• How much does a bone car cost? A skeleton-ton!
• What’s a bird’s favorite Halloween game? Ducking for apples!
• Why can’t you invite twin witches to a party? You can never tell witch witch is witch!
• What does a ghoul put on its pizza? Monster-ella cheese!
• Where do werewolves store their Halloween treats? In a were-house.
• How do vampires like movie stars? Medium rare.
• How does Dracula stay fit? He plays bat-minton!
• How does Frankenstein get around town? Monster truck!
• What did the skeleton wear to the Halloween party? A human costume.
• Why did the skeleton run away? Because a dog was after his bones.
• What do witches put on to go trick-or-treating? Mas-scare-a.
• What makes trick-or-treating with twin witches so challenging? You never know which witch is which!
• Why did the witch take a nap? She needed to rest a spell.
• What are two witches living together called? Broommates.
• Where does Dracula keep his money? At the blood bank.
• How do you fix a broken jack-o’-lantern? With a pumpkin patch!
• What do witches ask for at a hotel? Broom service.
• Why don’t people like Dracula? He’s a pain in the neck.
• Why did the vampire read the newspaper? Because it had great circulation.
• What’s a mummy’s favorite type of music? Wrap.
• Why didn’t the skeleton cross the street? He didn’t have any guts.
• Why are graveyards so noisy? Because of all the coffin!

Hilarious Halloween Dad Jokes That Will Make You Howl with Laughter

• Did you hear about the coffin sale? That’s the last thing I need.
• What do you call a cow on Halloween? A boo-vine.
• What’s a monster’s favorite cheese? Muenster.
• Why did the headless horseman go into business? He wanted to get ahead in life.
• How do mummies start their letters? Tomb it may concern.
• Why are graveyards so noisy? Because of all the coffin.
• How do you get rid of demons? Exorcise a lot.
• I dropped my pumpkin yesterday. Jack-o-lantern? More like crack-o-lantern!
• Where do ghosts go on vacation? Mali-boo.
• I would make a skeleton joke, but you wouldn’t find it very humerus.
• Why don’t I like Dracula? He’s a pain in the neck.
• What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? Neck-tarines.
• How many cannibals does it take to change a lightbulb? I don’t know but you really shouldn’t be in the dark with a cannibal.
• What do dentists hand out at Halloween? Candy. It’s good for business.
• Who’s the scariest body builder of all time? Dr. Frankenstein.
• Why don’t werewolves ever know the time? Because they’re not whenwolves.
• Why was the cemetery chosen to be the perfect location to write a movie? Because it had great plots.
• What was the chicken ghost’s name? Poultrygeist.
• What type of plants do well on All Hallow’s Eve? Bam-BOO!
• What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween? Candy corneas.

Spooky Fun: Best Halloween Knock-Knock Jokes to Keep the Door Creeping!

• “Knock, Knock!” “Who’s there?” “Handsome.” “Handsome who?” “Handsome candy to me.”
• “Knock, Knock!” “Who’s there?” “Robin.” “Robin who?” “Robin your candy jar.”
• “Knock, Knock!” “Who’s there?” “Canoe!” “Canoe who?” “Canoe please give me more candy.
• “Knock Knock.” “Who’s there?” “Ice cream!” “Ice cream who?” “Ice cream every time I see a ghost!”
• “Knock Knock.” “Who’s there?” “Eddie!” “Eddie who?” “Eddie body home?” “It’s Halloween!”
• “Knock Knock.” “Who’s there?” “Bob.” “Bob who?” “Bob for apples! It’s Halloween.”
• “Knock Knock.” “Who’s there?” “Figs!” “Figs who?” “Figs your doorbell so I can stop knocking!”
• “Knock, Knock.” “Who’s there?” “Bat.” “Bat who?” “Bat you’ll never guess!”
• “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Voodoo.” “Voodoo who?” “Voodoo you think you are practicing magic on Halloween?”
• “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Bee.” “Bee who?” “Bee-ware there’s a full moon out tonight!”
• “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Who.” “Who who?” “Are you being an owl for Halloween?”
• “Knock, Knock.” “Who’s there?” “Iguana.” “Iguana who?” “Iguana eat all your candy.”
• “Knock, Knock.” “Who’s there?” “Phillip!” “Phillip who?” “Phillip my bag with candy!”
• “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Fangs.” “Fangs who?” “Fangs for letting me in!”
• “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Witch.” “Witch who?” “Witch one of you is giving me all your candy?”
• “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Olive.” “Olive who?” “Olive Halloween!”
• “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Boo.” “Boo who?” “Aw, don’t cry, it’s Halloween!”
• “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Orange.” “Orange who?” “Orange you glad it’s finally Halloween?”
• “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Howl.” “Howl who?” “Howl you know who’s here if you don’t open the door!”
• “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Ben.” “Ben who?” “Ben waiting for candy all day!”

Silly & Spooky: Halloween Jokes for Kids That Are Sure to Get Giggles

• What does a turkey dress up as on Halloween? A goblin.
• Who do monsters buy their cookies from? Ghoul scouts.
• What’s a skeleton’s favorite instrument? A sax-a-bone.
• What candy do you eat on the playground? Recess pieces.
• Why did the vampire need to wash its mouth? It had bat breath.
• Which key opens a haunted house? A spook-key!
• What did the bat say to the other bat? Want to hang out?
• Why did the monster’s team lose the baseball game? Their bats flew away.
• How do spiders communicate? The World Wide Web!
• What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? A Neck-tarine.
• What did the pumpkin say to its carver? Cut it out!
• Which monster loves to dance? The Boogieman!
• What do witches eat for lunch? Sand-witches.
• What happened to the zombie who ran in the race? It came in dead last.
• Why don’t skeletons skydive? They don’t have the stomach for it.
• Which pumpkins work at the local pool? Life-gourds.
• Why did the vampire get glasses? It was as blind as a bat.
• Why couldn’t the witch make a speech? There was a frog in her throat.
• Where do zombies live? On a dead-end street.
• How do mummies start their letters? Tomb it may concern.
• What does the witch ask her sisters the day after Halloween? Witch one of you has my candy?
• Who’s the scariest body builder of all time? Dr. Frankenstein.
• What do you call a broken Jack-o’-lantern? A crack-o-lantern!
• What’s the biggest Halloween contest for moms? Mummy of the year!
• What do you get when you mix a vampire with a snowman? Frost-bite!
• What do you call two spiders who just got married? Newly webs.
• Who did Frankenstein take to the prom? His ghoul-friend.
• How do you know a skeleton is sick? He’s coffin.
• What do you call Winnie the Pooh on Halloween? Winnie the Boo!
• What is a skeleton’s favorite instrument? The trom-BONE!
• What do skeletons order at a restaurant? Spare ribs.
• What’s a vampire’s favorite holiday? Fangs-giving.
• What do you call a skeleton who lays around all day? Lazy bones.
• What do birds say on Halloween? Trick or tweet!
• What’s a witch’s favorite school subject? Spelling.
• What do you call a witch who lives at the beach? A sand-witch.
• Why are spiders great baseball players? They know how to catch flies!

Boo-zy Laughs: Halloween Jokes for Adults to Liven Up Your Party

Why don’t mummies take vacations?

They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind!

What’s a ghost’s favorite type of makeup?

Mas-scare-a!

Why did the zombie break up with his girlfriend?

He felt like things were falling apart.

What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit?

A blood orange.

Why do skeletons always stay calm?

Nothing gets under their skin!

How do witches stay in shape?

They do hex-ercises.

Why did the ghost go to therapy?

He had too many unresolved issues.

What do you call a group of disorganized vampires?

A blood bath!

Why don’t skeletons fight each other?

They don’t have the guts.

What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?

It’s a pain in the neck.

How do you make a witch itch?

Take away her “W.”

Why do vampires need mouthwash?

Because they have bat breath.

What do ghosts wear to formal events?

Boo-ties!

What kind of monster loves to disco?

The boogieman!

Why did the zombie become a successful chef?

Because he had a taste for brains.

What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house?

The living room.

How do ghosts like their coffee?

With scream and sugar.

What did the witch say to her friend who got a bad haircut?

Don’t worry, it’ll grow on you!

Why don’t mummies tell secrets?

They’re afraid they’ll get wrapped up in gossip.

What’s Dracula’s least favorite weather?

A sunny disposition.

Cackle-Worthy Halloween Witch Jokes to Cast a Spell of Laughter

• What do you call a witch’s garage? A broom closet.
• What kind of food would you find on a haunted beach? A sand-witch!
• What was the witch’s favorite subject in school? Spelling.
• What do you call two witches who live together? Broom-mates!
• What happened to the witch who flew her broom while angry? She flew off the handle.
• What do you say when you see a witch and a warlock kissing? Get a broom!
• Why did the witch take a nap? She needed to rest a spell.
• What’s a witch’s favorite makeup? Ma-scare-a.
• What do witches get when their shoes are too tight? Candy corns.
• How does a witch style her hair? With scare spray.
• What kind of medicine do witches use on their warts? I don’t know, but it’s not working.
• What do you call a witch with a rash? An itchy-witchy.
• What’s the problem with twin witches? You never know which witch is which.
• How did the witch get around when her broomstick broke? She witch-hiked.
• Why does a witch ride a broomstick? So she can make a clean getaway.
• Why would you automatically assume a witch is mean? Because of her resting witch face.
• What sound might you hear a witch’s cereal make? Snap, cackle, pop!
• Why might a witch turn down your coffee? They like to brew their own.
• What do witches like to eat for breakfast? Bagels with scream cheese.
• How do witches know when it’s time to fly on their brooms? They check their witch watches.

Bone-Rattling Fun: Halloween Skeleton Jokes That Are Dead Funny

• What did the skeleton say to the dog? Bone-appétit
• Why do skeletons have low self-esteem? They have no body to love.
• Know why skeletons are so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin.
• What do you call a cleaning skeleton? The grim sweeper.
• What do skeletons order at a restaurant? Spare ribs.
• Why didn’t the skeleton go to the scary movie? He didn’t have the guts.
• What do you call a skeleton who goes out in the snow? A numb-skull.
• Who won the skeleton beauty contest? No body.
• Where does a skeleton go for a fun night? Anywhere, as long as it’s a hip joint.
• Do you know any skeleton jokes? Yes, but you wouldn’t find it very humerus.
• What’s a skeleton’s favorite song? “Bad to the Bone.”
• Why can’t skeletons play church music? Because they have no organs.
• Why did the skeleton start a fight? Because he had a bone to pick.
• Where did the skeleton keep his money? In the crypt-o market.
• What kind of art do skeletons like? Skulltures.
• What is a skeleton’s favorite instrument? A trom-bone.
• How do skeletons know it’s going to rain? They can feel it in their bones.
• How does a skeleton propose to his girlfriend? “Will you marrow me?”
• Why don’t skeletons like to eat Halloween candy? They don’t have a stomach for it.
• What’s the best way to make a skeleton laugh? Tickle their funny bone.
• Why do skeleton parents tell their kids to drink milk? It’s good for their bones.

Ghoulishly Good Halloween Ghost Jokes That Will Haunt Your Funny Bone

• Where did the ghost get her Halloween costume? At a bootique.
• Where do ghosts go on holidays? The Boohamas.
• What position does a ghost play in hockey? Ghoulie.
• Why don’t ghosts shower? It dampens their spirits.
• What do ghosts wear when their eyesight gets blurred? Spooktacles.
• Why can’t ghosts lie? Because you can see right through them.
• What did one ghost say to the other ghost? Do you believe in people?
• Why do ghosts pick their noses? To get the boo-gers!
• How do ghosts wash their hair? With sham-boo!
• How do you know when a ghost is sad? He starts boo-hooing.
• What game do baby ghosts like to play? Peek-a-Boo!
• What kind of pants do ghosts wear? Boo-jeans!
• What does a panda ghost eat? Bam-BOO!
• What room do ghosts not need? A living room.
• What do Italian ghosts have for dinner? Boo-ghetti!
• Where do baby ghosts go during the day? To day-scare!
• What did the Kleenex say to the ghost? Put a little boo-pie in it!
• What’s a ghost’s favorite play? Romeo and Ghoul-iet.
• What do ghosts eat for dessert? Ice scream.
• Why do ghosts like sales? They’re bargain haunters!
• What do ghosts drink? Mountain Boo.
• Why do ghosts never date each other? Someone is bound to ghost.
• How does a ghost get its girlfriend’s attention? “Hey, boo!”
• Why are ghosts so bad at telling lies? You can see right through them.
• What’s a ghost’s favorite ride? A roller-ghoster.
• What is a ghost’s favorite day of the week? Fright-day!
• What does a ghost teacher say to their students? “Watch the board and I’ll go through it again!”
• Where do you find the spookiest sweets on Halloween? The ghost-ery store.
• Why did the ghost leave his job? He hated the graveyard shift.
• Why did the ghost starch his sheet? He wanted everyone scared stiff.
• Where does a ghost go on vacation? Mali-boo.
• What position does the ghost play in soccer? Ghoul-keeper.
• What did the ghost say when it fell down? It got a boo-boo.
• What does a ghost mom say when she gets in the car? Fasten your sheet-belts.
• What do ghosts use to do their makeup? Vanishing cream.
• What kind of rocks do ghosts collect? Tombstones.
• How do ghosts send letters? Through the ghost office.
• Why did the policeman ticket the ghost on Halloween? It didn’t have a haunting license.

Fangtastic Laughs: Halloween Vampire Jokes That Suck (In a Good Way)

• Why are vampires easily fooled? They’re suckers.
• Why did the vampire read the newspaper? He heard it had great circulation.
• How do vampires get around on Halloween? On blood vessels.
• What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire? It’s a pain in the neck.
• What’s it called when a vampire has trouble with his house? A grave problem.
• How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery? All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts.
• What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite.
• What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? Neck-tarines.
• Why did Dracula take cold medicine? Because he was coffin too much.
• What’s a vampire’s favorite ice cream flavor? Vein-illa.
• Why do vampires not want to become investment bankers? They hate stakeholders.
• Why are vampires bad at art? They are only able to draw blood.
• What a vampire’s favorite pickup line? You’re just my blood type.
• What do vampires install on their door? A dead bolt.
• What’s a vampire’s favorite holiday? Fangs-giving.
• How did Dracula become a vampire? He took a crash corpse.
• Where do vampires like to go to eat meals? The casketeria.
• What kinds of dogs do vampires like? Bloodhounds.

Monstrously Hilarious: Halloween Monster Jokes for a Howling Good Time

Zombie Groans: Halloween Zombie Jokes That Will Wake the Dead

• Why don’t zombies like pirates? They’re too salty.
• What’s a zombie’s favorite weather? Cloudy, with a chance of brain.
• Why did the zombie become a mortician? To put food on the table.
• What do you call zombies in pajamas? The sleepwalking dead.
• Why aren’t zombies ever arrested? They can’t be captured alive.
• What’s a zombie’s favorite treat? You might guess brain food, but it’s actually eye candy.
• What is a zombie’s least favorite treat? Life Savers.
• What sea do zombies swim in? The Dead Sea.
• What brand of shampoo do zombies use? Head and Shoulders.
• Why don’t zombies eat popcorn with their hands? They eat their hands separately.
• Where do zombies live? On a dead-end street.
• What’s a zombie’s favorite cheese? Zom-brie.
• What do you call a movie about zombies finding true love? A zom-com.
• What do vegetarian zombies eat? Graaaains!
• How do you know if a zombie likes someone? They ask for seconds.
• What kind of bread do zombies like? Whole brain.
• What is a zombie sleepover called? Mass grave.
• What language is a favorite of zombies? Latin! It’s a dead language, ya know.
• How does a zombie rack up the biggest sack of candy? With dead-ication to trick-or-treating.
• What’s black and white and dead all over? A zombie dressed up in a tuxedo.
• When do zombies go to sleep? When they are dead tired.
• What kind of beans do zombies like best? Human beans.

“Laugh Out Loud with These Hilarious Mummy Jokes That’ll Wrap You Up in Giggles!”

• How do you know if a mummy is sick? He can’t stop coffin.
• What is the mummy’s holiday job? Gift wrapper.
• What kind of underwear do mummies buy? Fruit of the tomb.
• Who did the little monster ask for when he was scared? His mummy.
• What did the mummy film director say? That’s a wrap.
• Why did the mummy TP the tree? He needed somewhere to hang his clothes so he could go skinny dipping.
• Why don’t mummies take time off? They’re afraid to unwind.
• What kind of music do mummies like listening to on Halloween? Wrap music.
• Why don’t mummies have friends? Because they’re too wrapped up in themselves.
• Why couldn’t the mummy go to witch school? He couldn’t spell.
• How do mummies tell their future? They read their horror-scope.
• What’s a mummy’s favorite thing about Christmas? The wrapping paper.
• Where does a mummy go on vacation? The Dead Sea.
• What kind of music do mummies like best? Wrap.
• What do you call Ryan Gosling in a mummy costume? Ryan Gauzeling.
• What do you call a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts? A Pharaoh Roche.
• Do mummies prefer white bread or wheat? Neither, they always prefer a wrap.
• What rock band do mummies love most? The Grateful Dead.
• What do mummies like to put on top of their dessert? Whipped scream.
• What do mummies like to do in their down time? Solve cryptograms.
• What makes a baby mummy happy? Time with their mummy.