100 Best Pumpkin Puns & Jokes for kids, Adults or Whole Family

TL:DR: Need funny pumpkin jokes for everyone? We’ve got it all—pumpkin jokes for kids, adults, and even some pumpkin spice jokes for captions. Keep reading for the best laughs!

Fall is here, and pumpkins are everywhere. But let’s be honest—sometimes we need a little more than just pumpkin spice to spice things up, right?

You might be planning a family get-together, scrolling for the perfect social media caption, or simply trying to make your kids laugh.

But finding the right pumpkin jokes can be tricky. Too many jokes out there are either too cheesy or, worse, not funny at all.

You want humor that works for everyone, whether you’re looking for clean pumpkin jokes for kids or a bit of adult humor to keep things interesting.

Here’s the solution: the best collection of pumpkin puns and jokes! From pumpkin knock-knock jokes to clever one-liners, this list has everything you need to bring laughter to your family and friends.

Laugh Out Loud with These Short Pumpkin Jokes 🎃

What do adventurous pumpkins do for fun? Go bungee gourd jumping.

What did the orange pumpkin say to the green pumpkin? “You look a little sick.”

What did one Pumpkin say to the other? “Happy Hollowing!”

Why do pumpkins sit on people’s porches? They have no hands to knock on the door.

Why do pumpkins perform so poorly in school? Because they had all their brains scooped out.

What kind of romance do pumpkins enjoy? A mushy romance.

What’s the problem with eating too much pumpkin pie this time of year? You’ll get autumn’y ache.

When asked how he was feeling, what did the pumpkin say? “I’m vine, thanks!”

What did the pumpkin say to the pie baker? “Use apples, instead.”

What did the pumpkin say after Thanksgiving? “Good-pie, everyone.”

What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash.

Where do pumpkins hold meetings? In the gourdroom.

What do you call a pumpkin that works at the beach? A life gourd.

What’s a pumpkin’s favorite genre? Pulp fiction.

What does a pumpkin use to repair its pants? A pumpkin patch!

Why was the jack-o’-lantern afraid to cross the road? It had no guts!

What did one pumpkin say to the pumpkin who asked where the patch was? Ah, a talking pumpkin!

How does a pumpkin listen to Halloween music? On vine-yl.

What’s a pumpkin’s favorite Western? The Gourd, The Bad, and The Ugly.

Why was Cinderella bad at football? She had a pumpkin for a coach.

What’s the ratio of a pumpkin’s circumference to its diameter? Pumpkin pi.

What is a pumpkin’s favorite sport? Squash.

Who helped the baby pumpkin cross the road? The crossing gourd.

What do pumpkins say at happy hour? Let’s get smashed.

What did the jack-o’-lantern say to its barber? Surprise me!

What did the pumpkin say to its carver? Cut it out!

What do you call an athletic pumpkin? A jock-o-lantern.

How do you repair a broken jack o’ lantern? Use a pumpkin patch.

Why was Cinderella sticky at the ball? Because she went there in a pumpkin!

Why was the jack-o’-lantern so forgetful? Because he’s empty-headed.

Perfect Pumpkin Puns for Your Captions 🍂

• This pumpkin feels a little hollow inside.
• A pumpkin a day keeps the goblins away!
• Sorry I’m latte. I had to pick up my pumpkin spice.
• Beauty is in the pie of the beholder.
• Patch you later!
• Slipped on a pumpkin today. It caught me off gourd.
• I used a pumpkin to summon ghosts. It was an Ouija gourd.
• Let’s give ’em pumpkin to talk about.
• Squash goals.
• Oh my gourd, I’m stuffed.
• Pumpkin some iron at the gym!
• I’m a pun-king.
• We’re just a couple of country pumpkins.
• Hey, gourd-looking!
• Don’t gourd breaking my heart.

Get Ready to Giggle with These Funny Pumpkin Jokes 😄

What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?

Squash.

What’s a pumpkin’s favorite genre?

Pulp fiction.

Why was the gourd so gossip-y?

To give ’em pumpkin’ to talk about.

Why was the jack-o’-lantern afraid?

It had no guts.

Why was Cinderella bad at football?

Because she had a pumpkin for a coach.

What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?

Pumpkin Pi.

Why did the pumpkin take a detour?

To avoid a seedy part of town.

What does a carved pumpkin celebrate?

Hollow-een.

Who helped the mini pumpkin cross the road?

The crossing gourd.

What did the pumpkins say at happy hour?

Let’s get smashed.

What did George Strait say to the pumpkin?

I’m Here for a Gourd Time.

What did the pumpkin say to its carver?

Cut it out!

What do surfers say on Halloween?

Gourd vibes only, bro.

How do you mend a jack-o’-lantern?

With a pumpkin patch.

What do you call an athletic pumpkin?

A jock-o-lantern.

How does a pumpkin listen to Halloween music?

On vine-yl.

What’s the pumpkin’s favorite Western?

The Gourd, The Bad, and The Ugly

What did the orange pumpkin say to the green pumpkin?

You look a little sick.

Where does a pumpkin preach?

From the pulp-it.

Why was the jack-o’-lantern so forgetful?

Because he’s empty-headed.

What do you call a group of pumpkin besties?

#SquashGoals

What did the queasy pumpkin say?

I don’t feel so gourd.

What did the pumpkin say after Thanksgiving?

Good-pie, everyone.

Why are jack-o-lanterns so smart?

A candle makes them bright.

How did the jack-o’-lantern quit smoking?

The pumpkin patch.

What’s the best thing to put into a pumpkin pie?
Your teeth.

What do you call a pumpkin that works at the beach?
A life-gourd.

What is black, white, orange, and waddles?
A penguin with a pumpkin.

What did Cinderella say when her carriage turned into a pumpkin?

Oh my gourd!

Why do jack-o-lanterns sit on people’s porches?

They don’t have the guts to knock on the door.

Quick & Hilarious Pumpkin Jokes: One-Liners That Hit the Spot! 🎃

Why was the pumpkin so good at sports?

Because it had a lot of squashing potential! 🏀

What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?

A smashing good time! 🎃💥

Why did the pumpkin cross the road?

To prove it wasn’t a chicken pie! 🐔🥧

How do pumpkins fix things?

With a pumpkin patch! 🎃🛠️

What do you call a pumpkin that works at the beach?

A lifegourd! 🏖️🎃

What’s a pumpkin’s favorite genre of music?

Gourd-rock! 🎸🎃

Why did the pumpkin go to therapy?

It had too many seeds of doubt! 😅

What’s a pumpkin’s least favorite weather?

Squashing rain! 🌧️

Knock Knock! Who’s There? The Funniest Pumpkin Jokes Ever! 🚪

• Knock, knock! Who’s there? Pumpkin. Pumpkin who? Things that go pumpkin the night!
• Knock, knock! Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad it’s almost Halloween?
• Knock, knock! Who’s there? Jack. Jack who? Jack o’ lantern!
• Knock, knock! Who’s there? Pie. Pie who? Pie really love you.
• Knock, knock! Who’s there? Pumpkin spice. Pumpkin spice who? Time to pumpkin spice up the night!

Cracking Up with These Pumpkin Dad Jokes 😂

Why do pumpkins never play hide and seek?

Because they always squash their chances of hiding! 🤦‍♂️🎃

What did the pumpkin say to its carver?

“Cut it out!” ✂️🎃

How do pumpkins get to school?

In a gourd-geous bus! 🚌🎃

Why was the pumpkin late to the party?

It couldn’t find its pump-keys! 🔑🎃

What do you call a pumpkin that tells bad jokes?

A pun-kin! 🎃😂

Why did the pumpkin sit on the porch all night?

It didn’t want to gourd anywhere else! 🏡🎃

How do pumpkins stay in shape?

They do a lot of squash-ing exercises! 🏋️‍♂️🎃

What did the dad pumpkin say to his kids before bedtime?

“Let’s hit the patch! It’s getting late.” 😴🎃

What’s a pumpkin’s favorite type of movie?

A slice of life! 🎬🎃

Why don’t pumpkins tell scary stories?

Because they don’t have the guts! 😱🎃

Kid-Friendly Pumpkin Jokes That’ll Have Them Rolling in Laughter 👧🎃

Q: What do you use to mend a jack-o-lantern?
A: A pumpkin patch.

Q: Who helps the little pumpkins cross the road to school?
A: The Crossing Gourd.

Q: What do you get when you divide the circumference of your jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
A: Pumpkin Pi.

Q: What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?
A: Squash.

Q: What is the ratio of a pumpkin’s circumference to its diameter?
A: Pumpkin Pi.

Q: What’s the best thing to put into a pumpkin pie?
A: Your teeth.

Q: What do you call a pumpkin that works at the beach?
A: A life-gourd.

Q: What is black, white, orange, and waddles?
A: A penguin with a pumpkin.

Q: When asked how he was feeling, what did the pumpkin say?
A: I’m vine, thanks for asking.

Q: What are gourds afraid of?
A: Things that go Pumpkin the night.

Q: What do adventurous pumpkins do for fun?
A: Go bungee gourd jumping.

Q: Why do pumpkins sit on people’s porches?
A: They have no hands to knock on the door.

Q: Why was Cinderella not very good at softball?
A: Because her coach was a pumpkin.

Q: What’s orange and faster than a speeding train?
A: Super Pumpkin.

Q: How did the winter squash pay for things?
A: It used pumpkin bread.

Q: Why do pumpkins do so bad in school?
A: Because they had all their brains scooped out.

Q: What did the pumpkin say after thanksgiving?
A: Good-pie everyone.

Q: When is an orange not an orange?
A: When it’s a pumpkin.

Q: What was the pumpkin’s favorite sport?
A: Squash.

Q: How are pumpkins like cats?
A: They’re often waiting on the porch for you when you get home.

Q: What do you call a pretty pumpkin?
A: Gourdgeous.

Q: What did the orange pumpkin say to the green pumpkin?
A: You look a little sick.

Q: How do gourds get to so strong?
A: By pumpkin iron.

Q: What kind of gourd grows on trees?
A: Plumkins.

Q: What do you call an athletic pumpkin?
A: A jock o’ lantern.

Q: Why were the two pumpkins so close?
A: They had deep roots.

Q: What does a pumpkin pie say after a big meal?
A: That was filling.

Q: What did the pumpkin say to the pie baker?
A: Use apples instead.

Q: Which English pop singer is most popular during Thanksgiving holiday?
A: Pumpkin Spice.

Q: What do pumpkins eat at the movies?
A: Pulp Corn.

Q: What’s orange and goes choo-choo?
A: A Pumpkin in Train-ing.

Q: Why did the witch paint her toenails orange?
A: So she could hide in the pumpkin patch.

Q: What do you call a gourd’s family members?
A: Pump-kin.

Q: What kind of animal loves pumpkins?
A: Orange-atans.

Q: Who did the gardener say when his squash went missing?
A: There’s pumpkin strange happening around here…

Q: Who is the leader of all pumpkins?
A: The Pumpking.

Q: Why did the pumpkin cross the road?
A: It fell off the wagon!

Pumpkin Jokes for Adults: Witty & Hilarious Fun! 🍁

Why don’t pumpkins make good lovers?

They’re always left out in the cold after Halloween! 🥶🎃

What’s a pumpkin’s least favorite part of dating?

Getting ghosted after a great night! 👻🎃

Why did the pumpkin break up with the squash?

It just couldn’t handle all the drama-veg! 🥒🎭

How does a pumpkin spice latte flirt?

It’s all about being warm, sweet, and irresistible! ☕💕

What’s a pumpkin’s favorite pickup line?

“Are you made of pumpkin spice? Because you’re everything nice!” 🎃😏

Why don’t pumpkins argue?

They know it’s a slippery vine! 🌿🎃

Why was the pumpkin sent to HR?

For making too many squash jokes at work! 🏢🎃

How do pumpkins celebrate a promotion?

By throwing a gourd-geous party! 🥂🎉

What’s a pumpkin’s favorite adult beverage?

Pumpkin ale—because it’s got that perfect gourd-like finish! 🍺🎃

Why do pumpkins make terrible poker players?

They can’t bluff; their faces give everything away! 😅🎃

Naughty but Nice: Pumpkin Jokes with a Dirty Twist 😉

Why did the pumpkin break up with its girlfriend?

She said things were getting too squashy in the patch! 😏🎃

What did one pumpkin say to the other after their first date?

“You really spiced up my night!” 😘🎃

Why do pumpkins love Halloween night?

Because they know it’s the perfect time to get carved! 😜🎃

What’s a pumpkin’s favorite position?

In the patch where all the action happens! 😉🎃

Why did the pumpkin blush?

Because it saw the other pumpkins bare their seeds! 😳🎃

How do pumpkins flirt?

They say, “Wanna come back to my patch and see how I squash things up?” 😏🎃

Why did the pumpkin get kicked out of the party?

It couldn’t keep its stem to itself! 😆🎃

What’s a pumpkin’s idea of foreplay?

A little sweet talk, followed by a lot of scooping! 😜🎃

Why did the pumpkin get into trouble at the Halloween bash?

It was caught rolling around with all the wrong gourds! 😈🎃

What’s a pumpkin’s secret to satisfaction?

A little bit of spice and a whole lot of filling! 😘🎃

Pumpkin Spice & Everything Nice: Jokes That’ll Warm Your Soul 🎃☕

Why did the pumpkin spice latte go to therapy?

It had too many steamed emotions! ☕🎃

What’s a pumpkin spice latte’s favorite season?

Fall, because it’s brew-tiful! 🍁🎃

Why do pumpkins love being in pies?

Because they know they’re the spice of life! 🥧🎃

What did the pumpkin say to its latte friend?

“You’re looking steamy today!” 😏☕

How do you fix a broken pumpkin spice latte?

With a whipped cream topping! 🍂☕

What’s a pumpkin spice lover’s biggest dilemma?

Choosing between a latte or a pumpkin pie! ☕🥧

Why are pumpkins so good at making friends?

They know how to spice things up! 🎃🥳

What’s a pumpkin spice latte’s pickup line?

“Are you cinnamon? Because you’re making me feel all warm and cozy inside!” 😉☕

How does pumpkin spice make everyone feel?

Like they’re living in a fall fairy tale! 🍁✨

Why did the pumpkin spice latte get promoted?

Because it’s got spice, it’s nice, and always full of flavor! ☕💼

Sweet and Silly Pumpkin Pie Jokes to Share at Dessert Time 🥧

Why did the pumpkin pie go to school?

Because it wanted to be a little smarter than the crust! 🎓🥧

What did the pumpkin pie say to its rival apple pie?

“You may be good, but I’m spiced just right!” 😏🥧

Why don’t pumpkins ever fight at Thanksgiving?

Because they know it’s best to keep things sliceful! 🍂🥧

What do you call a pumpkin pie that tells jokes?

A real pun-kin! 😂🎃

How do pumpkins get into the holiday spirit?

They turn into sweet and spicy pumpkin pie! 🥧🎃

What’s a pumpkin pie’s favorite song?

“I Will Sur-pie-vive!” 🎤🥧

Why did the pumpkin pie blush at the dinner table?

Because everyone kept saying it was baked to perfection! 😳🥧

What’s a pumpkin pie’s favorite part of Thanksgiving?

Being the centerpiece of attention! 🥧🍽️

Why did the pumpkin pie break up with the whipped cream?

It wanted someone who would stick around for more than just a topping! 😜🥧

What do you get when you cross a pumpkin pie and a comedian?

A joke that’s whipped up perfectly! 😂🎃