Letās be honest for a second. My husband is incredibly lucky to have me, and not just because I organize the pantry or keep the kids alive. He is lucky because I have a terrible sense of humor, and Iām not afraid to use it.
While flowers wilt and chocolates get eaten way too fast, a well-timed, Sexy Valentine pun is the gift that keeps on giving (or at least gets a reluctant chuckle). We love the romance, but sometimes you just need to keep things light, fun, and a little bit spicy.
If you are looking for Steamy puns for couples or some Suggestive Valentine puns to write in a cardāor whisper while the kids are finally asleepāyou have come to the right place. Letās get weird with it š
My Top 3 Favorites
These are the ones that actually made me giggle today.
“Are you a light switch? Because you know exactly how to turn me on.”
“Letās play carpenter. First weāll get hammered, then Iāll nail you.”
“I love you with all my butt. I would say heart, but my butt is bigger.”
šļø Fun Finds for Humor Lovers
- š The Naughty Little Book of Adult Jokes
- š Funny Valentine’s Day Coffee Mug
- š Couples Games Date Night Box
- š I Love You More Than Coffee T-Shirt
Naughty Food Puns to Spice Up Dinner š
If you are planning a romantic meal, use these Naughty food puns for Valentineās Day to make the main course a little more interesting.
1.
“Iām soy into you, letās get saucy.”
2.
“Youāve stolen a pizza my heart, now come get the rest.”
3.
“I love you a waffle lot, especially when youāre sweet.”
4.
“Letās taco ’bout how hot you look tonight.”
5.
“Youāre the only bun for me.”
6.
“I find you a-peel-ing, letās not slip up tonight.”
7.
“You look berry delicious right now.”
8.
“Donut know what Iād do without you.”
9.
“Youāre un-beer-lievably sexy.”
10.
“Letās give āem something to taco ābout later.”
Sexy Animal Puns for Your “Wild” Side šÆ
Sometimes you just have to embrace the animal kingdom to find the perfect Sexy Valentine puns that are a little wild but still cute.
11.
“I canāt bear to sleep without youā¦ naked.”
12.
“You are koala-fied to be my lover.”
13.
“Iām not lion, youāre the king of my jungle.”
14.
“Youāre purr-fect for me, letās nap together.”
15.
“Bee mine, honey, and Iāll give you some sugar.”
16.
“Whale hello there, handsome.”
17.
“Letās beaverā¦ alone together.”
18.
“Owl always want you.”
19.
“Some bunny loves youā¦ and your body.”
20.
“You make my heart race like a cheetah.”
Steamy Valentine Puns for Him š§
Here are some playful Dirty Valentine puns for him that mix confidence with just the right amount of sass.
21.
“Iām nuts about you, and your bolts.”
22.
“Wood you be mine? I promise not to go against the grain.”
23.
“You auto know how much you drive me crazy.”
24.
“You really know how to drill it home.”
25.
“Iāve got a special package just for you.”
26.
“Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears.”
27.
“You must be a campfire, because youāre hot and I want s’more.”
28.
“Iām stuck on you like glue.”
29.
“You rock my world.”
30.
“Letās screwā¦ in a lightbulb, and then turn it off.”
Flirty Valentine Puns for Her š
Gentlemen, if you are reading this, these Flirty Valentine puns for her balance sweet compliments with Suggestive Valentine puns.
31.
“Youāre the apple of my eye and the peach of myā¦ dreams.”
32.
“Iāve fallen for you, and I canāt get up.”
33.
“You look radishing in that dress.”
34.
“Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I smile.”
35.
“You sweep me off my feet, literally.”
36.
“Youāre sew beautiful.”
37.
“I think youāre grape, letās wine about it.”
38.
“Youāre one in a melon.”
39.
“I value our relation-chip.”
40.
“Youāre tea-riffic, hot stuff.”
RisquĆ© Card Messages & Captions š
Need something for a card or social media? These RisquĆ© Valentineās Day puns and Spicy Valentine card puns are short, punchy, and fun.
41.
“Iād swipe right on you every time.”
42.
“Your place or mine? Just kidding, we live together.”
43.
“I love you more than coffee, but please donāt make me prove it.”
44.
“Letās misbehave.”
45.
“Youāre my favorite notification.”
46.
“I want to be on you like a hashtag.”
47.
“Letās make like fabric softener and snuggle.”
48.
“My love for you is like a candleā¦ it burns hot.”
49.
“Youāre just my type.”
50.
“Letās get physicalā¦ therapy, because my back hurts.”
Dirty Household & Object Puns š ļø
Use the things around you to deliver some Adult Valentine puns and Naughty Valentine puns.
51.
“You really whisk me off my feet.”
52.
“Iām a sucker for you.”
53.
“You light up my life, letās conserve energy in the dark.”
54.
“Iām fan-cying you tonight.”
55.
“Letās shower each other with love.”
56.
“We make a great pair, like socks.”
57.
“You hold the key to my heartā¦ and the bedroom door.”
58.
“Letās stick together like magnets.”
59.
“Iām totally bowled over by you.”
60.
“Letās sheet the bedā¦ with clean linens, and then mess them up.”
YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED š§
What are some spicy puns I can write in a Valentine’s card?
“I love every bone in your body, especially one.”
“Youāre the best thing Iāve ever unwrapped.”
“I plan on being your bedtime snack.”
Are there naughty Valentine puns that aren’t too gross?
Yes! The goal is the “Goldilocks zone”āclever, not crude.
“I’d look good on you.”
What are the best sexy puns for Instagram captions?
“We go together like copy and paste.”
“Sorry for the PDA, I just really like his face (and other parts).”
CONCLUSION
Whether you use Sexy Valentine puns to get a laugh or to set the mood, remember that humor is one of the best parts of marriage.
What are the best steamy puns for couples to use tonight?
“Letās make like a fabric softener and get Snuggle-y.”
Go have fun, love your spouse, and keep laughing together.
Save this for later š¤
One Comment