Fatherās Day is for grilling, but Valentineās Day? That is for making everyone in the house wish they had earplugs.
There is just something about this holiday that brings out the cheesiest humor in dads everywhere. We love them for it, but sometimes we just have to laugh to keep from crying.
My wife told me she wanted a big rock for Valentine’s Day. So I gave her a pebble and told her to wait for it to grow. Now I’m sleeping on the couch.
Whether you are looking for funny Valentine’s Day dad jokes to write in a card or just want to make the kids giggle over breakfast, this list has you covered.
I have gathered the best corny Valentine’s Day puns and silly one-liners. This is your ultimate survival guide for dads who want to win the holiday without spending a fortune on flowers that wilt in three days.
Letās dive into the cringe-fest š.
My Top 3 Favorites
These are the ones that actually made me giggle today. They are simple, sweet, and perfect for a quick smile.
“What did one volcano say to the other? I lava you.”
“What did the cucumber say to the pickle? You mean a great dill to me.”
“Why should you never break up with a goalie? Because heās a keeper.”
šļø Fun Finds for Humor Lovers
- š Dad Jokes: The Good, The Bad, The Terrible
- š Novelty “I Tell Dad Jokes” T-Shirt
- š Funny Coffee Mug for Dads
- š 1000 Dad Jokes Book
Corny Valentineās Day Puns š½
Corny Valentineās Day puns are the true backbone of fatherhood. If eyes aren’t rolling, is it even a dad joke? These punny Valentine’s Day jokes are perfect for that “so bad it’s good” vibe.
1. The Banana Pun
“I find you very a-peel-ing.”
2. The Vegetable Pun
“I love you from my head to-ma-toes.”
3. The Berry Pun
“I love you berry much.”
4. The Corn Pun
“I know this is corny, but be my Valentine.”
5. The Lightbulb Pun
“I love you a whole watt.”
6. The Glue Pun
“Iām stuck on you.”
7. The Drummer Pun
“My heart beats for you.”
8. The Mushroom Pun
“There is so mushroom in my heart for you.”
9. The Geology Pun
“You rock my world.”
10. The Cactus Pun
“I am stuck on you.”
Food-Related Valentineās Jokes š
The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, right? These food Valentine puns for dads focus on pizza puns, taco puns, and other tasty treats. They are perfect for lunchbox notes!
11. The Pizza Pun
“Youāve got a pizza my heart.”
12. The Taco Pun
“Letās taco ābout how much I love you.”
13. The Soda Pun
“Youāre soda-lightful.”
14. The Coffee Pun
“Words cannot espresso how much you mean to me.”
15. The Donut Pun
“I donut know what Iād do without you.”
16. The Cheese Pun
“Youāre really grate.”
17. The Bread Pun
“Youāre the loaf of my life.”
18. The Fruit Pun
“We make a great pear.”
19. The Tea Pun
“You are my cup of tea.”
20. The Butter Pun
“You are my butter half.”
Animal Valentineās Day Dad Jokes š»
These are sweet, simple, and perfect for the little ones. These family-friendly Valentineās Day jokes use cute animals like bear puns and bee puns. These are definitely clean Valentineās Day jokes for kids approved!
21. The Lion Joke
“Iām not lion, youāre the best.”
22. The Sheep Joke
“I love you sheepishly.”
23. The Whale Joke
“I whale always love you.”
24. The Bee Joke
“Will you bee mine?”
25. The Owl Joke
“Owl always love you.”
26. The Pig Joke
“Donāt go bacon my heart.”
27. The Cat Joke
“You are purr-fect for me.”
28. The Otter Joke
“You are my otter half.”
29. The Bunny Joke
“Some-bunny loves you.”
30. The Skunk Joke
“Iām scent-imental about you.”
Heart and Love One-Liners š«
Sometimes you need Valentineās Day one liners for dads that are a little nerdy. These use anatomy jokes and cardiology humor. They are a little smart, very silly, and totally cheesy.
31. The Palpitation
“Youāre a real heart-throbāmostly because you give me palpitations.”
32. The Cardiologist
“Are you a cardiologist? Because you make my heart skip a beat.”
33. The Aorta
“I aorta tell you how much I love you.”
34. The Beat
“My heart beats like a drum for you.”
35. The Thief
“Did you steal my heart? Because I think youāre a cardiac arrest.”
36. The Blood Type
“Are you Type O? Because youāre my universal donor of love.”
37. The Stethoscope
“I need a stethoscope because my heart races when youāre near.”
38. The Vein
“Youāre not vain, you just run through my veins.”
39. The Attack
“You must be a heart attack because you stop me in my tracks.”
40. The Valve
“I love you with all my heart valves.”
Short Valentineās Jokes for Text Messages š±
Need something quick? These Short Valentineās Day jokes for cards and Short Valentineās Jokes for Text Messages are perfect. They make great social media captions for dads too.
41. The Wi-Fi Joke
“Are you a Wi-Fi signal? Because Iām feeling a connection.”
42. The Keyboard Joke
“Youāre just my type.”
43. The Google Joke
“Youāre like Google, you have everything Iām searching for.”
44. The Light Switch Joke
“You turn me on.”
45. The Magnet Joke
“I find you very attractive.”
46. The Camera Joke
“I picture us together.”
47. The Time Joke
“I love you for all time.”
48. The Phone Joke
“You just called to say you love me.”
49. The Battery Joke
“You energize me.”
50. The App Joke
“You make me very app-y.”
Silly Valentineās Day Riddles š§©
Kids love a good challenge. These represent the Best Valentine’s Day riddles for dads. They are fun brain teasers in a Q&A format that will keep the dinner table lively.
51. The Squirrel Riddle
“Q: What did one squirrel say to the other? A: I’m nuts about you!”
52. The Paint Riddle
“Q: What did the painter say to her boyfriend? A: I love you with all my art!”
53. The Bat Riddle
“Q: Why did the bat break up with his girlfriend? A: She was driving him batty!”
54. The Chef Riddle
“Q: What did the chef give his wife? A: A hug and a quiche!”
55. The Bird Riddle
“Q: What do birds call their sweethearts? A: Tweet-hearts!”
56. The Calculator Riddle
“Q: What did the calculator say to the pencil? A: You can count on me!”
57. The Light Riddle
“Q: What did the light bulb say to the switch? A: You turn me on!”
58. The Ghost Riddle
“Q: Who is a ghost’s valentine? A: His ghoul-friend!”
59. The Elephant Riddle
“Q: What did the elephant say to his girlfriend? A: I love you a ton!”
60. The Snake Riddle
“Q: What did the snake give his wife? A: A hiss and a hug!”
Your Questions Answered š§
What are some funny Valentine’s Day dad jokes to tell my kids?
The best ones are usually puns about animals or food! Kids love anything involving pizza, cats, or bears. Keep it simple and clean Valentineās Day jokes for kids will always be a hit.
Can you give me a list of clean Valentine’s Day puns for a classroom?
Absolutely. The “Food-Related” and “Animal” sections above are perfect. They are sweet, safe, and just funny enough to get a giggle without being inappropriate.
What are the best corny dad jokes for Valentine’s Day cards?
Look for the one-liners. Jokes about being “stuck” on someone (glue/cactus) or “falling” for someone are classic card material. They fit perfectly in a small space.
We made it through the list! I hope these funny Valentine’s Day dad jokes bring a little extra laughter to your home this month.
Are there any funny heart-themed jokes for dads?
“Why did the heart break up with the lungs? Because they were too stifling!”
Feel free to share this list with a fellow dad who is currently staring at a blank card, sweating.
Save this list before your spouse finds out you didn’t actually write these yourself. Go get ’em, Tiger. šÆ
Save this for later š¤
One Comment