Nothing says “I love you” to a seven-year-old boy quite like a joke about a farting dinosaur, because let’s face it, hearts and flowers are “gross.” If you are a boy mom, you know that the pink and red explosion of February can feel a little overwhelming for our little guys. But we still want to make them feel special and loved.
That is why I put together this list of Valentine’s Day jokes for boys. It is the perfect “Anti-Mushy” antidote for parents who need a quick win. These funny Valentine jokes for kids will help you slip a little love into their day without the eye-rolls. Whether you are looking for non-mushy Valentine jokes for boys to put in a card or just want a giggle at breakfast, I have got you covered.
Let’s dive into the comedy gold mine 👇.
My Top 3 Favorites
These are the ones that actually made me giggle today (and got a smile out of my own son).
“What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine’s Day? I’m stuck on you!”
“What did one volcano say to the other? I lava you!”
“Why do skunks celebrate Valentine’s Day? Because they are scent-imental!”
🛍️ Fun Finds for Humor Lovers
If your son loves a good laugh, these little treats are perfect for February 14th without being too “frilly.”
- 🛒 Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes for Kids Book
- 🛒 LEGO Valentine’s Brown Bear Building Kit
- 🛒 Funny T-Rex Valentine T-Shirt
- 🛒 Valentine’s Day Mad Libs
Silly Knock-Knock Valentine’s Day Jokes 🚪
If there is one thing little boys love, it is a repetitive joke format. These Silly Valentine’s Day knock-knock jokes are interactive and fun.
1.
“Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Luke.
Luke who?
Luke who likes you!”
2.
“Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Frank.
Frank who?
Frank you for being my friend!”
3.
“Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Peas.
Peas who?
Peas be my Valentine!”
4.
“Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you so much!”
5.
“Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Howard.
Howard who?
Howard you like a big hug?”
6.
“Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Atlas.
Atlas who?
Atlas, will you be my Valentine?”
7.
“Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Justin.
Justin who?
Justin time to say Happy Valentine’s Day!”
8.
“Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Arthur.
Arthur who?
Arthur any chocolates left for me?”
9.
“Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Al.
Al who?
Al be your best friend forever!”
10.
“Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Noah.
Noah who?
Noah good place to get Valentine candy?”
11.
“Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Sheriff.
Sheriff who?
Sheriff your candy with me, please!”
Wildly Funny Animal Valentine Jokes 🦁
Animals are always a hit with kids. These Valentine’s Day animal jokes for kids feature sharks, lions, and other creatures boys love.
12.
“What did the shark say to his Valentine? Chews me!”
13.
“What did the lion say to his girlfriend? You aren’t fat, you’re just a little husky!”
14.
“Why did the dog sit in the shade? He didn’t want to be a hot dog on Valentine’s Day.”
15.
“What did the bat say to his Valentine? You’re fun to hang around with.”
16.
“What do owls say on February 14th? Owl be yours!”
17.
“What did the bear say to his cub? I love you bear-y much!”
18.
“What did the sheep say to the other sheep? I love ewe!”
19.
“What does an octopus say to his crush? I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand.”
20.
“What do bees say to their sweethearts? Bee mine!”
21.
“What did the whale say to his mom? I whale always love you.”
22.
“What did the toad say to the frog? You are toad-ally awesome.”
“Eww!” Worthy Valentine Jokes for Boys 🤢
Let’s be real, boys find “gross” things way more romantic than roses. These Gross Valentine’s Day jokes for boys and boy-friendly Valentine puns are sure to get a laugh.
23.
“What did one fungus say to the other? You’re a fun-gi to be with!”
24.
“Do you have a Band-Aid? Because I scraped my knee falling for you.”
25.
“What did the pickle say to the jar? You mean a great dill to me.”
26.
“Why did the pig give his girlfriend a box of chocolates? It was Valen-swine’s Day!”
27.
“What did the dustpan say to the broom? You sweep me off my feet!”
28.
“What did the vacuum say to the rug? You suck, but I love you!”
29.
“Why shouldn’t you fall in love with a pastry chef? He’ll dessert you.”
30.
“What did the nose say to the finger? I pick you!”
31.
“What kind of flowers should you never give on Valentine’s Day? Cauliflowers!”
32.
“Why do skunks love Valentine’s Day? Because they are super scent-imental.”
33.
“What did the vampire call his sweetheart? His ghoul-friend.”
Score Big with These Sports Valentine Jokes ⚽
If your son loves being on the field or the court, these Sports-themed Valentine jokes will be a home run.
34.
“What did the baseball bat say to the ball? You’re a hit!”
35.
“Why did the soccer ball quit the team? It was tired of being kicked around.”
36.
“What did the basketball hoop say to the ball? May I have this dance? Or should we just court?”
37.
“Why is the quarterback the best Valentine? Because he knows how to score!”
38.
“What is a runner’s favorite subject? Valen-time!”
39.
“What did the tennis ball say to the racket? I think I’m in love, love, love.”
40.
“Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one on Valentine’s Day!”
41.
“What is a gymnast’s favorite holiday? Valen-tumbles Day.”
42.
“What did the football coach say to the locker room? I get a kick out of you guys!”
43.
“Why did the referee break up with the whistle? It was too loud!”
44.
“What did the bowler say to the pins? I’m striking up a conversation because I like you!”
Printable Valentine’s Day Jokes for His Lunchbox 🍱
These are perfect for slipping into a sandwich bag. Use these Valentine’s Day lunchbox jokes for boys to remind him you are thinking of him.
45.
“I love you a lat-te.”
46.
“You are one in a melon!”
47.
“I am stuck on you like glue.”
48.
“I love you a watt (lightbulb).”
49.
“You can count on me (calculator).”
50.
“I go bananas for you!”
51.
“My heart beats like a drum for you.”
52.
“Your days are numbered… with love (calendar).”
53.
“I find you very attractive (magnet).”
54.
“You are purr-fect (kitten).”
55.
“I am nuts about you (squirrel).”
Short One-Liners for Boy Valentine’s Day Cards 💌
Need something to write on those class cards? These Clean Valentine’s Day jokes for school and Short One-Liners for Boy Valentine’s Day Cards are quick and witty.
56.
“I love you berry much.”
57.
“Yoda one for me.”
58.
“You have a pizza my heart.”
59.
“I donut know what I’d do without you.”
60.
“I lava you lots.”
61.
“Let’s taco ’bout how awesome you are.”
62.
“You’re my stud muffin.”
63.
“I soda think you’re cute.”
64.
“I chews you!”
65.
“Time fries when I’m with you.”
66.
“I am stuck on you (cactus).”
Out-of-This-World Valentine Puns 🚀
From dinosaurs to aliens, these non-mushy Valentine jokes for boys cover the coolest topics in the universe.
67.
“You are out of this world!”
68.
“I love you to the moon and back.”
69.
“You are a blast!”
70.
“You are a star in my eyes.”
71.
“What do you call an alien with a Valentine? An unidentified frying object of affection!”
72.
“You are Dino-mite!”
73.
“I love you this much (T-Rex arms).”
74.
“You make my heart saur.”
75.
“You are a T-Rex-ellent friend.”
76.
“Don’t ever go extinct on me!”
77.
“You rock my world (fossil).”
Are these jokes appropriate for school?
Yes! I made sure these are clean Valentine’s Day jokes for school. Teachers appreciate humor that doesn’t involve the bathroom, so these are safe for the classroom.
What if my son thinks Valentine’s Day is “girly”?
These non-mushy Valentine jokes for boys are great because they bridge the gap. They let him participate in the holiday using “boy humor” instead of just hearts and lace.
Can I print these for a class party?
Absolutely. You can print them out and use them as icebreakers or tape them to little treat bags.
Finding the Fun in February
Finding the right Valentine’s Day jokes for boys doesn’t have to be a struggle. It is just another sweet way to connect with your son and show him that love can be fun and silly, not just mushy.
What are some funny Valentine’s Day jokes that aren’t too romantic for boys that you have heard lately?
I will leave you with one last dad joke:
“What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has a date on Valentine’s Day!”
Share this list with another boy-mom or dad before your son decides that cards are only for “cootie” carriers. 🏃♂️💨
Save this for later 🤍
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