If there is anything more chaotic than a craft store aisle in February, I havenāt found it yetābetween the glitter explosions and the sugar crashes, we mamas need all the humor we can get. Iāve rounded up the best valentines day humor for children, focusing on funny valentine jokes for school and valentines day jokes for kids so you can survive the season with a smile. What did the paper clip say to the magnet? I find you very attractiveānow please stop sticking to me, I have 25 more cards to sign. š
My Top 3 Favorites
These are the ones that actually made me giggle today while sipping my lukewarm coffee.
“What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentineās Day? Iām stuck on you!”
“Why did the banana go out with the prune? Because he couldnāt get a date!”
“What did the cucumber say to the pickle? You mean a great dill to me.”
āØ šļø Fun Finds for Humor Lovers āØ
H2: Valentine Knock Knock Jokes šŖ
Knock-knock jokes are the love language of elementary schoolers, so here are twelve valentine knock knock jokes for kids guaranteed to get a giggle.
Joke 1
This classic setup starts with “Olive” knocking at the door. When they ask “Olive who?”, you deliver this sweet punchline.
“Olive you so much!”
Joke 2
When “Lettuce” knocks, you know a salad pun is coming. The perfect response to “Lettuce who?” is simple and cute.
“Lettuce be friends forever!”
Joke 3
“Justin” is knocking! When your little one asks “Justin who?”, you tell them they are just in time for a hug.
“Justin time to be my Valentine!”
Joke 4
“Luke” is at the door. When asked “Luke who?”, remind them to look closely at who loves them.
“Luke who likes you… it’s me!”
Joke 5
“Peas” is knocking today. The answer to “Peas who?” is a veggie-themed request for friendship.
“Peas be mine!”
Joke 6
“Frank” is here! When they say “Frank who?”, it turns into a polite thank you note.
“Frank you for being my friend!”
Joke 7
“Sherwood” is knocking on the door. The response to “Sherwood who?” is a declarative statement of love.
“Sherwood love to be your Valentine!”
Joke 8
“Al” is at the door waiting. When asked “Al who?”, tell them you’ll give them everything.
“Al be your Valentine if youāll be mine!”
Joke 9
“Atlas” is knocking now. The answer to “Atlas who?” expresses relief that the holiday is finally here.
“Atlas, itās finally Valentineās Day!”
Joke 10
“Ben” is here to visit. When asked “Ben who?”, use it to talk about how long you’ve been friends.
“Ben waiting all day to give you a Valentine!”
Joke 11
“Donut” is knocking. The punchline to “Donut who?” is a sweet pastry treat pun.
“Donut go breaking my heart!”
Joke 12
“Ivana” is the last visitor. When asked “Ivana who?”, tell them exactly what you want to do.
“Ivana hold your hand!”
H2: Punny Valentine Jokes for Lunchbox Notes š
If you need punny valentine jokes for lunchboxes, these are perfect for sticky notes tucked next to the sandwich.
Joke 13
What did the calculator say to the student? A math pun about dependability.
“You can count on me!”
Joke 14
What did the ruler say to the pencil? A measuring pun perfect for the classroom.
“You rule the school!”
Joke 15
What did the glue say to the paper? A sticky situation joke about attachment.
“Iām stuck on you!”
Joke 16
What did one pencil say to the other? A writing pun about appearance.
“You look sharp today!”
Joke 17
What did the eraser say to the mistake? A helpful pun about fixing things.
“Iām here to wipe away your troubles!”
Joke 18
What did the scissors say to the paper? A crafty pun about being a great pair.
“Weāre a cut above the rest!”
Joke 19
What did the library book say to the reader? A literary pun about looking closely.
“Iām checking you out!”
Joke 20
What did the computer mouse say to the keyboard? A tech pun about compatibility.
“Youāre just my type!”
Joke 21
What did the lightbulb say to the switch? A bright idea pun about feelings.
“You turn me on!”
Joke 22
What did the clock say to the calendar? A time-based pun about their friendship.
“Our time together is special!”
Joke 23
What did the drum say to the musician? A musical pun about heartbeats.
“My heart beats for you!”
Joke 24
What did the broom say to the dustpan? A cleaning pun about being overwhelmed.
“You sweep me off my feet!”
H2: Animal-Themed Valentine’s Day Humor š¦
Kids usually love animals more than they love heart-shaped candy, so here is some valentines day humor for children featuring their favorite critters.
Joke 25
What did the lion say to his cub? A fierce pun about honesty.
“Iām not lion, youāre the best!”
Joke 26
What did the bear say to his friend? A fuzzy pun about affection.
“I love you beary much!”
Joke 27
What did the owl say to his sweetheart? A wise pun about ownership.
“Owl be yours forever!”
Joke 28
What did the bee say to the flower? A buzzing pun about asking a question.
“Will you bee mine?”
Joke 29
What did the whale say to the dolphin? An ocean-sized pun about love.
“I whale always love you!”
Joke 30
What did the otter say to his significant other? A watery pun about uniqueness.
“You are my otter half!”
Joke 31
What did the pig say to the sow? A farm pun about hugs and kisses.
“Hogs and kisses!”
Joke 32
What did the skunk say to his crush? A smelly pun about scent.
“Iām scent-imental about you!”
Joke 33
What did the cat say to the kitten? A soft pun about perfection.
“You are purr-fect!”
Joke 34
What did the dog say to the bone? A canine pun about perfection.
“You are paw-some!”
Joke 35
What did the sheep say to the lamb? A woolly pun about feelings.
“I love ewe!”
Joke 36
What did the bat say to his girlfriend? A flying pun about hanging out.
“I love hanging out with you!”
H2: Sweet and Cheesy Valentine Riddles š§
These silly valentine riddles for kids work great as short valentine puns for kids when you need a brain teaser.
Joke 37
What kind of nut sneezes the most? A nature riddle.
“Cashew!”
Joke 38
I have dates but never go out. What am I? A time-keeping riddle.
“A calendar!”
Joke 39
I have petals and rhymes with ‘nose.’ What am I? A floral riddle.
“A rose!”
Joke 40
I travel the world but stay in one corner. What am I? A mail riddle.
“A stamp!”
Joke 41
Who is a vampire’s favorite person on Valentine’s Day? A spooky riddle.
“His ghoul-friend!”
Joke 42
What does a ghost call his true love? A scary riddle.
“His boo!”
Joke 43
What sound does a snakeās kiss make? A reptile riddle.
“Hiss!”
Joke 44
What do birds do on February 14th? A social media style riddle.
“They tweet hearts!”
Joke 45
What did the volcano say to the mountain? A geological riddle.
“I lava you!”
Joke 46
What did the French chef give his wife? A baking riddle.
“A quiche!”
Joke 47
How did the banana propose? A fruit riddle.
“With a-peel!”
Joke 48
What is a pickle’s favorite flower? A salty riddle.
“A daffo-dill!”
H2: Candy and Food Puns for Kids š
These short valentine puns for kids are perfect for treats, and even serve as great valentine jokes for toddlers.
Joke 49
What did the pizza say to the topping? A cheesy food pun.
“You have a pizza my heart!”
Joke 50
What did the taco say to the salsa? A spicy food pun.
“Letās taco ābout love!”
Joke 51
What did the donut say to the coffee? A breakfast food pun.
“I like you a hole lot!”
Joke 52
What did the chocolate bar say to the marshmallow? A campfire food pun.
“You make me melt!”
Joke 53
What did the melon say to the watermelon? A fruit pun about marriage.
“Youāre one in a melon!”
Joke 54
What did the berry say to the cream? A sweet fruit pun.
“I love you berry much!”
Joke 55
What did the latte say to the espresso? A caffeine pun.
“We are meant to bean!”
Joke 56
What did the soda say to the ice? A fizzy drink pun.
“Youāre soda-lightful!”
Joke 57
What did the muffin say to the oven? A baking pun.
“You make my heart warm!”
Joke 58
What did the french fries say to the ketchup? A fast food pun.
“I only have fries for you!”
Joke 59
What did the lemon say to the lime? A citrus pun.
“You are my main squeeze!”
Joke 60
What did the egg say to the bacon? A breakfast pun.
“Youāre eggs-tra special!”
H2: Short Valentine Jokes for School Cards š
When you’re writing 30 cards, you need clean valentine’s day jokes for elementary students and cute valentine card jokes that fit in small spaces.
Joke 61
A quick electric pun for a small card.
“You light up my life!”
Joke 62
A simple science pun for classmates.
“We have great chemistry!”
Joke 63
A tiny geological pun.
“You rock!”
Joke 64
A musical pun that fits anywhere.
“You make my heart beat!”
Joke 65
A nautical pun for a friend.
“You float my boat!”
Joke 66
A kitty pun for cat lovers.
“You are purr-fect!”
Joke 67
A puppy pun for dog lovers.
“I dig you!”
Joke 68
A garden pun about vegetables.
“I love you from my head tomatoes!”
Joke 69
A wise bird pun.
“Owl always like you!”
Joke 70
A cozy bear pun.
“Bear hugs for you!”
Joke 71
A simple veggie pun.
“Peas be my friend!”
Joke 72
A sweet fruit pun.
“You are berry sweet!”
Your Questions Answered š§
What are some funny Valentine’s Day jokes for a 7-year-old?
Seven-year-olds love sarcasm about school. Try these:
“Why didn’t the skeleton want to send any Valentine’s Day cards? His heart wasn’t in it.”
“What did the boy say to his teacher? I’d love you more if you gave less homework!”
Are there any short Valentine’s Day riddles that are easy for toddlers?
Keep it very simple for the little ones!
“I am yellow and warm the earth. What am I? The Sun!”
“I have two arms and hold you tight. What am I? A Hug!”
What are some hilarious Valentine’s Day puns about candy and food for kids?
Kids will do anything for sugar, so these always land well.
“Don’t go bacon my heart!”
“Life is sweeter with you!”
Conclusion
We made it! That is 72 valentines day jokes for kids to help you survive the season of love (and sugar). If you were wondering “What are the best punny Valentine’s Day messages for kids’ school cards?”, I hope this list gave you plenty of ammo for that 9:00 PM card-signing marathon.
These jokes might be cheesy, but the memories of giggling with your little ones will last a lot longer than the glitter in your carpet (okay, maybe not longer than the glitter, but close).
Share this list with another parent who is currently staring at a blank box of 30 cards. Youāre doing Cupidās work, you tired hero. š¹
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