This Christmas 2022 we’ve gathered the Best Funny Christmas Wishes.
We’ve got the perfect Funny Christmas Wishes, funny Christmas wishes for cards, Funny Wishes on Christmas and New Year, Funny Merry Christmas Wishes, Funny Christmas Wishes family, Boyfriend, girlfriend, Friends, husband, Wife, son , daughter, brother , sister , niece, teacher , kids , niece, co-workers, boss, Funny Christmas Greetings, Funny Christmas Card Sayings, Funny Christmas Quotes, Funny Christmas Captions, funny Christmas wishes memes, funny Christmas wishes quotes.
Did you just have the most amazing time at Christmas and are now looking for Cute Merry Christmas Wishes for Instagram, inspiration or decorations?
You know what, Christmas is not complete without these Christmas prayers, Christmas movies, Christmas wishes with family friends.
Here you will find, Christmas wishes, quotes, sayings, and captions Ideas for mom, dad, family, friends, husband, wife boyfriend, girlfriend (couple), father-in-law, mother-in-law or any other person whom you want to wish happy Christmas. Do not forget to Christmas messages for son, daughter, nephew, children, boss, co-workers.
If you like Christmas quotes, then check out our lists of Short Christmas Quotes, Funny Christmas Quotes, Cute Christmas Quotes, Christmas Family Quotes, Christmas Tree Quotes, Christmas Quotes for Friends, Christmas Sayings, Christmas Wishes, Funny Christmas Wishes, Funny Christmas Captions, Cute Christmas Captions, and Christmas Tree Captions.
You might also want to check out our Christmas Gifts Ideas.
Table of Contents
Funny Christmas Wishes
I hope Santa fills our socks with cash instead of gifts and toys. I know you hope for the same. Wishing you a happy Christmas!
Christmas is all about spending time with good people. So makes sure you spend the entire day with me tomorrow. Merry Christmas!
May your Christmas be as fat, happy, and plentiful as Santa’s! Merry Christmas!
Wishing for a fat bearded guy to visit you at night is weird but I guess that’s tradition for you. Merry Christmas!
Good luck with wishing people unrealistic things from someone who doesn’t even exist. Have a great Christmas this year!
I’ll declare war if you throw a snowball at me. Let’s make this the happiest Christmas we’ve ever had! Merry Christmas!
Emjoy this Christmas till you find your name in Santa’s naughty list.
May your Christmas be spent eating candies and cakes as long as you don’t forget brushing your teeth. Wishing you a Merry Xmas!
Merry Christmas! May Santa bring you winning lottery tickets in your socks!
I know you are feeling grinchy, but I wish your Christmas to be merry! Best wishes to you!
I’ve never decked the halls and I have no idea what Jingle Bell rock is. But I hope your Christmas rocks!
Merry Christmas! May the lines at the stores you shop at be short, and may your patience be long this holiday season!
Merry Christmas! May you not lose any packages in the mail this holiday season. (And may they be delivered on time too!)
Funny Merry Christmas Wishes
One important rule of Christmas; You can eat all the sweet candies as long as you don’t forget to brush your teeth. Merry Christmas!
Enjoy your holiday and feel the magic of Christmas this year. Witness how money disappears and how I lose my sanity. Merry Christmas!
Do not spend all of your savings in one day over this lovely holiday. Merry Christmas!
Just wanted you to know that you have literally no chance of ending up on the good list of Santa this year. Merry Christmas to you!
Hope you get to drink a lot and feast well in the holiday season. Lose yourself and have a bit more fun. Merry Christmas!
May you survive the priest’s boring speech in the church and join me at the party as soon as possible. Merry Christmas!
Christmas is the festival of love and spirit. So let us drink the spirit to feel love; Merry Christmas too!
The best Christmas gifts are those given from the heart. On the other hand, cash and gift cards are effective too! Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas! May Santa fill your stocking with winning lottery tickets! Hope you holiday season is a winner!
I mistakenly wrapped your Christmas present in a paper that says “Happy Birthday”. So I added the wording “to Jesus” on it. Merry Christmas!
A Christmas Reminder: Don’t try to borrow any money from elves; They’re always a little short! Have a Merry Christmas!
Santa has already given me what I wished for so long. Now I want him to fill your socks too! Merry Christmas!
If I forget to bring presents for you, keep your doors open. Santa will definitely come with a box of chocolates. Merry Christmas!
short funny Christmas wishes
Hoping that your Christmas is the “M” word (Merry)!!!
Christmas has been cancelled! And it’s your fault as I told Santa that you had been good and he died laughing!
Merry Christmas! Santa is offering you the gift of a chilly winter – but just for a couple more months!
I wish you a White Christmas! But if your White Wine runs out, be sure to drink the Red…
Hoping you have a 100% awesome Christmas!
This year you were not good… You were REALLY FANTASTIC! May your celebration be joyful and your holidays brilliant!
May Santa always make a stop at your house. Merry Christmas!
Throw a snowball at me you’ll be sure that I’ll declare war! Let’s make this Holiday Season the best Christmas for us! Merry Christmas to you!
Merry Christmas! May you not lose any boxes in the post this holiday season. (And may they be delivered on time as well!)
Merry Christmas! May the lines at the shops that you go to be short and may your patience be super long this holiday season!
Happy Holidays! May all your twinkly lights be in working order this festive season. I hope your Christmas is bright!
funny Christmas wishes for cards
Christmas is Claus for celebration!
May your holidays be as lovely as they look on Instagram.
Santa ho ho hopes you’ve been good this year.
May your gifts be many, and your returns and exchanges be few.
I put so much thought into your gift, that I never got around to actually buying it. Merry Christmas, anyway!
On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me … What is this, and did you keep the receipt?
May the Christmas season fill your home with joy, your heart with love, and your life with absolutely everything you put on your wish list.
Hope you have a remember-forever-and-ever-and-ever-and-ever kind of holiday.
Yoda caroling: A Merry Christmas, we wish you. A Merry Christmas, we wish you.
Dashing, dancing, and prancing until I get blitzened.
I hope you’re less like Santa, and visit me more than once a year.
Wishing you the gifts of the season — Peace, Joy, and Cabernet Sauvignon.
Funny Wishes on Christmas and New Year
Christmas is not only for praying and praising. But for drinking and messing around also. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Hey you two over there, It’s the old, bearded guy and his silly reindeer! We’re here to bring you holiday cheer and wishes for a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
May the calories of Christmas disappear by the New Year. Happy holidays!
Celebrating & unwrapping. Counting down & ringing in. Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Merry Christmas & Happy New Year. Sending wishes your way for a great holiday season and a super fabulous year ahead!
Joyful. Colorful. Magical. Wonderful. Busy. Stressful. Quick. Wishes for a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! It’s that time of the year again, so prepare for forced family time!
Good luck selecting the perfect tree. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
We wish you a less expensive Christmas. We wish you a less expensive Christmas. We wish you a less expensive Christmas and a debt-free New Year!
Wishing you joy & happiness through the holidays and straight through the year. Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!
Merry Christmas & Happy New Year. Wishing that the magic of the season be with you always.
The holidays are a time to keep your spirit light and your smile bright. Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!
Funny Christmas Wishes family
I can never thank God enough for the wonderful family He has blessed me with. May He keep on guiding us and bless us to deal with all the difficulties. Merry Christmas to my family. Love you.
I wish everyone in my family a very Merry Christmas! It is truly a blessing to have such an amazing family. I miss you all very much. I hope everyone is having a beautiful Christmas.
What a blessing it is to share the joy of Christmas with such a loving family! Merry Christmas to you all!
May your heart be filled with supreme joy and your home with sweet presents. Let’s spread the laughter and cheers of this magical occasion. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year 2023!
This holiday season, I wish you good health, happiness, joy, and prosperity. May you be happy and blessed today and tomorrow. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. Love you tons.
Merry Christmas Brother. May you have a blessed Christmas this eve that all your wish come true. Hoping your holiday season be filled with magical moments!
To my beautiful sister, wishing a Christmas season filled with incomparable joy. May you have all the time in the world to make some unforgettable Christmas moments.
Sending my warmest wishes for my sister so beautiful. May you have a wonderful celebration of the day with your husband and kids!
I have spent so many Christmas with you that I can’t even imagine one without you. Your presence in the family doubles the joy of Christmas! Merry Christmas dear brother!
Merry Christmas to my favorite people in the world. I wish you all abundant joy and blessings on this graceful day.
There’s no gift greater than love, and there’s no love greater than the love of family. A merry Christmas to you all!
To my dearest family: may this season bring peace, joy, and lots of good memories. Wishing you all the best this Christmas!
Cheers to a truly merry Christmas for my outstanding family members! Wishing you all the best in this festive season.
Sending lots of love and cheer to my wonderful family on this special day! May your holiday season be filled with happiness and joy!
Funny Christmas Wishes For Your Boyfriend Or Husband
Christmas is the time to be with good people. So make a plan to spend the whole Christmas with me. Merry Christmas, love!
I’d like to say that all I want for Christmas is you, but I’d also like a new credit card! Merry Christmas, sweetheart!
Your name has been missing from both the naughty and nice list of Santa. So, I told him to search for your name on his handsome list. I’m sure he will find it there!
Lob a snowball at me, and I’ll declare war. Let’s make this one the best Christmas for us together! Merry Christmas to you!
Sending your way a bundle of warm wishes and good luck on this holiday. Take my love and don’t forget to bring presents for me tonight. Merry Christmas!
Funny Christmas Wishes For Girlfriend Or Wife
Everything grows old, except for You and Santa. Merry Christmas, my love. Sending warm wishes on your way this Christmas!
Someone woke up early in the morning to check her socks. Good for the socks, good for my morning too!
I don’t think I need any gifts this Christmas because I have the biggest present and that is you my love. Warm wishes to the loveliest and cutest man I know… Merry Christmas.
Santa asked me what my heart wants this Christmas! I told him your name, and he said you’re already in my heart! Merry Christmas!
When I say I don’t want any present, I am fibbing … so I will be waiting for my surprise Christmas gift… Merry Christmas my love!!!
I don’t need any more presents on Christmas because I have you and I am sure you can buy me everything that I want … Merry Christmas and thanks for making it so special.
Santa’s did not find your name in the bad people’s list. So I told him to look in the cute list. And now he is on his way. Merry Christmas.
I hope when Santa comes at midnight, he brings you wrapped in a box as my Christmas gift! That would make a perfect Christmas for me this year!
Funny Christmas Messages for Friends
Stop asking for presents from Santa and be the Santa for the kids around you. Suits your age. Merry Christmas!
You’re now at a stage of your life when you really need to ask yourself if you believe in Santa or not! Grow up, man. Merry Christmas!
Wishing you a white Christmas this year. If you run out of the white one, remember I have plenty of supply for the red one. Merry Christmas dear friend!
Santa told me you are on the good list this year; I told him it was just a lack of opportunity. Just kidding! Have a wonderful Christmas!
Christmas is the only time when eating candy out of socks is cool! Good luck with your smelly socks and expired candies. Merry Christmas!
Every time I see you, I think of Santa. You have so many things in common with that big, fat, silly guy except that long-white beard. Merry Christmas!
I hope Santa leaves you plenty of presents, but I hope the reindeer do not leave behind any “presents” on your lawn! Merry Christmas!
May you have plenty of mistletoe on hand this Christmas… and lots of good kisses too!
If I were to re-write the “12 Days of Christmas,” I would include things like chocolate, cocktails, and fancy dinners instead of French hens and turtle doves.
Funny Happy Holiday Wishes
A perpetual holiday is a good working definition of hell.
To many people holidays are not voyages of discovery, but a ritual of reassurance.
Your office Christmas party is a perfect platform to gather blackmail material.
All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth.
Merry Christmas, almost Everybody!
A change in my latitude would help my attitude.
Dear Santa, for Christmas please send me your list of bad boys and their phone numbers.
I asked Santa for a sexiest person on earth and next morning I woke up in a box.
Being a Secret Santa is actually the only office secret that you’ve ever kept.
Funny Christmas Messages
I hope your smiles will be as big as your credit card bill this Christmas! Wish you good luck and a lot of fun. Happy Christmas!
Christmas is mostly for children. But we adults can enjoy it too until the credit card bills arrive!
I’ve finally found the true meaning of Xmas, it’s for those people who can’t spell Christmas!
The reason why everyone makes wishes every Christmas is that no one’s wish ever comes true! Making Christmas wishes is just a custom! Merry Christmas!
Merry up and have your best Christmas ever!
Santa told me you’d been very good this year; I told him it was just a lack of opportunity. Merry Christmas!
Christmas is a time for remembering family and trying to guess everyone’s sizes! Have a Wonderful Christmas!
There are four stages in life: 1) You believe in Santa Claus. 2) You don’t believe in Santa Claus. 3) You are Santa Claus. 4) You look like Santa Claus.
Dear Santa, If you promise to be nice and give me everything on my list, I promise to give you the antidote to those poison cookies you just ate. Thank you.
Everyone knows the most important part of the Christmas celebration is spending time with family you don’t get to see very often. Then you have an excuse to neglect them for the rest of the year.
Funny Christmas Greetings
I know you are grouchy, but I wish your Christmas to be merry! Best wishes to you!
It’s hard to smile when your wallet runs out of cash but still, Merry Christmas and good luck on fulfilling the wishes of you kids!
It’s time to enjoy the holiday, spend some real cash, and realize in the end that money is everything that we ever wanted from Santa.
Please allow Jesus to Come and Bless people in Church on Christmas; if he sees you there, he may not. So come here and have a party with me; Merry Christmas to you!
Merry Christmas to you. I can see you have a great decoration there. But I think your credit card bill will not be as attractive as your decorations!
I don’t know if you realize it or not, but you are getting fatter than Santa Clause. Even Santa would bully you this for being so fat! Merry Christmas!
I think Santa must ride a plane instead of a sleigh so that he can reach me faster. I oftentimes fell asleep waiting for him.
Anyone who believes that men are equal to women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present.
You are allowed to have an awesome Christmas as long as I have my presents waiting at my doorstep. Have a great time!
Funny Christmas Card Sayings
“I spent a long time choosing the perfect Christmas card that will look good in your garbage.”
“Happy holidays from someone using environmental friendliness as an excuse for being too cheap and lazy to send an actual card.”
“Merry Christmas! I hope you like the Christmas present you told me to buy for you.”
“That warm feeling isn’t just the Christmas spirit. I think you left the oven on.”
“Sure, being on the Nice List may get you more presents, but being Naughty is its own reward.”
“The Nice List can’t handle me.”
“Proud members of the Naughty List!”
“I hope your smiles will be as big as your credit card bill this Christmas! I wish you good luck and a lot of fun. Happy Christmas!”
“It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.”
“A broken drum is always the best Christmas gift. It simply can’t be beat!”
“Zen Christmas: the gift of nothingness.”
“Happy holidays from the jolliest bunch of elves this side of the nuthouse.”
“Another Christmas already? Seriously, what the elf?”
“Keep Calm and jingle all the way.”
“Have a cool yule and swell noel.”
“Don we now our ugly sweaters.”
“May all your sweaters be ugly and bright!”
“May your gifts be many, and your returns and exchanges be few.”
Funny Christmas Quotes
“Let’s be naughty and save Santa the trip.” – Gary Allan
“Aren’t we forgetting the true meaning of this day – the birth of Santa? – Matt Groening
“You better watch out, You better not cry, Better not pout, I’m telling you why Santa Claus is coming to town.” – Haven Gillespie
“Christmas is a time when you get homesick, even when you’re home.” – Carol Nelson
“Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.” – Phyllis Diller
“Sending Christmas cards is a good way to let your friends and family know that you think they’re worth the price of a stamp.” – Melanie White
“Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live.” – Dennis Miller
“The one thing women don’t want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.” – Joan Rivers
“Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and receipts for all major purchases.” – Bridger Winegar
“Even before Christmas has said Hello, it’s saying ‘Buy Buy’.” – Robert Paul
“Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.” – Larry Wilde
“What I like about Christmas is that you can make people forget the past with the present.” – Don Marquis
“Christmas is like candy; it slowly melts in your mouth sweetening every taste bud, making you wish it could last forever.” – Richelle Goodrich
“Santa Claus has the right idea – visit people only once a year.” – Victor Borge
“Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.” – Andy Borowitz
“Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, he must be a communist. And a beard and long hair must be a pacifist. What’s in that pipe that he’s smoking? – Arlo Guthrie
“From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist, it would be necessary to invent it.” – Katharine Whitehorn
Funny Christmas Captions
Santa Clause exists, and he has to work during the holidays. How pathetic!
May your Christmas be as extravagant as the costumes on Santa this year. #MerryChristmas
Brace yourself for the biggest surprise of the year; the magical disappearance of your yearly savings!
Santa left batteries under the tree with a note that said “Due to cutbacks, toys not included.”
Christmas is the festival of love and spirit. So let us drink the spirit to feel love; Merry Christmas too!
Do not spend all of your savings in one day over this lovely holiday. Merry Christmas!
Final thoughts on Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year Wishes.
I hope you found best funny Merry Christmas wishes, funny Christmas wishes for boyfriend or husband, funny Christmas wishes for girlfriend or wife, funny wishes on Christmas and New Year. Funny happy holiday wishes, funny Christmas messages, funny Christmas messages for friends, funny Christmas greetings and funny Christmas card sayings.
If you are having trouble figuring out, what should I Caption my Valentines Post? then let us inspire you with these Valentine Day Funny to Romantic messages. Creating Valentine’s Day cards that say “Happy Valentine to love one” or other Valentine’s Day messages for boyfriend, girlfriend, fiancé, husband, wife, friend, and family is a wonderful way to express your love. if you’re wondering, “What is the best message for Valentine’s Day in advance?” you don’t need to panic!
Before you start thinking, “What is best Valentine’s Gifts for Him?” “What do I get the man that has everything?” How can I surprise my man on Valentine’s Day? do not worry, we have you covered.
This list Valentine’s Gifts for Him, your husband, boyfriend, dad, father-in-law or any other man who has your heart.
I have gathered dozens of amazing Valentine’s Gifts for Him under $10-50, timeframes (last-minute gifts on Amazon, FTW) and relationship statuses.
If you are celebrating your first Valentine’s Day as boyfriend and girlfriend then go for the cute couples gift.
Or you can buy a personalized print to capture your life as Mr. and Mrs And if you’re in a long-distance relationship, send him a subscription box to his door each month to continuously show your love from afar.
it’s time to check out our Valentines day to welcome this most festive of months.
Let us know in the comments below if we missed any Cute Merry Christmas Wishes for cards that should be added.